Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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