what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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