I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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