so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
