Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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