The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
