It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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