I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
