I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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