Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize