Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
