I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
