He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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