I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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