At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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