he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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