just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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