talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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