BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
