I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
