Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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