I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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