this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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