Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
