Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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