Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
