Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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