Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
