Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
