It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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