Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize