It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
