she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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