I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
