White coat. Heels.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
