wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I will be naked everywhere
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
