he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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