people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
