it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
