First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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