Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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