So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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