No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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