Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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