It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
