Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
