Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
