Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
