it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Randomize
