iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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