I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
