I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
