Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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