I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
