My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
