I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
