Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Screwed.edu
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
