i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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