you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
